The Energy It Takes to Hate Could Be Used to Build Something Beautiful

By Patty Roe, Founder of PS Society

My mom used to tell me something that I didn’t fully understand until decades later:

The energy it takes to hate could be used to create something that makes you happy… or makes you money. Best case? Both.

She wasn’t just saying it to sound wise. She lived it.

When I was in high school, I watched two women she worked with—women she considered close friends—turn on her. Out of nowhere, they began a mission to destroy her reputation. They said things that weren’t true. They made calls, "reported" her to the school administrators where she taught, and tried to get her fired.

I came home to my mother crying. Not once, but many afternoons.

She was working so hard just to keep a roof over our heads. She showed up every day, gave her students everything (they loved her), and was the mom who made dinner and asked about my day every night. But inside, she was devastated with anxiety.

What hurt most wasn’t just the lies or the tactics.

It was that it came from women she loved.

As a high schooler, it was horrifying.

I couldn’t understand how grown women could do that to someone so kind, someone so good. And back then, I remember thinking, thank God I won’t ever have to deal with this kind of drama when I grow up.

Life’s funny like that.

Because recently, I’ve had to channel my late mother’s strength more than ever.

The pain of being misunderstood, judged, or targeted—especially by people you once cared for—cuts deep. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how professional you try to be. It still hurts.

But this time, something shifted.

When I was alone with my tears and doubt, I felt her.

My mom.

I have waited a long time for a sign from her after she passed. It seemed like everyone else got them—little moments or dreams or signs from beyond—and I felt like I either missed them or they weren't there for some reason. But in the past couple of years, and especially recently, I’ve started to feel her again. Not just as a memory, but as a force lifting me toward something bigger. A calling.

The Energy It Takes to Hate Could Be Used to Build Something Beautiful

She used to tell me to take pain and build with it.

To take betrayal and create with it.

To flip the script from victim to visionary.

And together, in her honor, that’s exactly what we’re doing through PS Society.

We’ve chosen to grow, to gather, and to empower women—not to dwell in what once was, but to move forward in what can be.

Our mission is clear: combat the loneliness epidemic by connecting women through community, growth, and service. And no amount of resentment or misdirected anger can stop that purpose from blooming.

We could all use that energy—the kind that gets stirred up when we’re hurt or angry or left out—and reroute it into something better.

Something real.

Something healing.

And oh—one more thing.

I don’t remember all the details, but I do remember this: after those women tore my mother apart for years, they apologized.

And they ended up living out the rest of their lives as best friends.

So… life is wild. People grow. Things shift.

The strongest force isn’t hate. It’s women who choose to hold each other up.

We’ve got work to do here at PS Society.

We’re building something beautiful—with or without applause.

And we’re doing it in honor of every woman who ever cried in silence and chose to stand back up anyway.

Because that energy?

It builds legacies.

And it cultivates strength, joy, and real change.